Last night I went out to a bar. I hadn’t had that much to drink as I had worked out earlier in the day (for the first time in over a year), and like one of those people on ‘The Biggest Loser’ or ‘I used to be Fat’ I felt like I was going to throw up all afternoon. I didn’t, but when it came to pre-drinking I was very slow. I’m a pretty big light-weight (it doesn’t take a lot for me to start feeling the effects of booze) so after two drinks (mostly hastily skulled as we were leaving) I thought, okay sure. Tonight’s going to be fine. The thing about clubbing/pubbing in Canada is that on a Friday or Saturday night there are often queues if you get there lateish (like we always seem to). So you stand outside in the cold, sobering up, just wanting to be in the club. It’s a true shame drinking in public is illegal here, pubs could make millions by selling drinks outside. In Hong Kong when we were underage, we used to buy alcoholic drinks, like those cruiser-mainly-sugar-in-a-bottle types and just mill around drinking.

So finally after 30mins in 2 degree weather (sobering up all the while) we get into the pub. $9 cover at Grace O’Malley’s – which is where we always seem to end up. Okay fine. $9…whatever we just want in to the f-ing venue and not to be outside in the cold. Live band. Great. Get a drink. K-thanks.

Now to the teeming dance floor, filled with drunk people staggering around making out hotly, sloshing drinks on each other, dropping their glasses on the floor, knocking into one another, elbowing each other, standing on toes…It was then I realized… I am too sober for this. Sadly I was alone in that regard as my friends had all downed more booze than me.

I stood looking around at the people, making eye contact with the bouncer who shook his head.

I was too sober to be there, and with last call approaching, there was no way to catch up to my friends, and the people in that bar. Not that I was desperate or dying to get to that level of boozery. But it was just weird, to be the one on the outside. I was “that guy” the sober one, saying, NOPE that’s not your beer, NO don’t walk onto the road, NO you don’t want to fight that guy.

Maybe I’m getting to old for this.