Gosh being in your twenties is exciting isn’t it? Every day is an adventure and blah blah blah.
Sometimes (read, all the times) there are things in my bed which aren’t me.
Here’s a list.
1. Laundry I couldn’t be bothered to put away
Possibly THE worst household chore of all time, folding clean laundry and putting it away only to re-crumple it and rewash it and then put it away again…. Ain’t nobody got time for dat. I’ll just sleep spooning this lump of garments and pretend it’s a person who loves me. Weeping softly into my freshly laundered towls whispering “whyyyywhyyyyy” as my uterus dries up.
2. Friends from out of Town
I’ve slept on enough couches/in friends beds over the years to feel like I always at least have to offer my bed/couch to friends who are coming into town (Karma yo). As a result, there are often quite a few galpals slumming it on my bed during the year, which I’m totally fine with so long as there’s still room for me (spoiler – there usually isn’t).
That’s cool I don’t need sleep. Sleep is for the WEAK *tears phone book in half with
bear bare hands*
3. My Laptop & Phone
I pretty much stare at a computer screen 19 hours of the day between my laptop screen and my smart phone (must…know… all…the things) so they usually have pride of place in the spot a significant other might reside at sleepy time.
The internet is my boyfriend now.
Sorry available men dying to take me out.
4. Food and/or Dishes
Much like how I can’t be bothered to put away my laundry, sometimes after eating in my bed (because I’m watching Take Me Out UK on my laptop while in my pajamas because I’ve lost control of my life… duh) the kitchen 4 meters away is just too much to handle. So I’ll just carefully scrape the plate/bowl clean and rest it gently on the other side of the bed. Then I’ll have a little sleepy time because I’m freaking cool and living life to the max OKAY?!
5. An unpacked suitcase
Because I’ll go crazy if I stay in the same place for more than 3 consecutive months, I’m always packing/unpacking suitcases on my bed. My philosophy with my bed is, I need to sleep there, and I’m super lazy… so if I put enough obstacles on my nest of rest, then there’s no way I can ignore it forever and I will eventually GET SHIT DONE. Even if it’s just enough shit so that I’ve made a comfy little Paris shaped spot to curl up in. I hate putting away my clothes and I also hate packing unless its very very very much last minute and heartstoppinglypanicky. That’s why you’ll find a suitcase on there that I haven’t bothered to unpack – or because I’m reminding myself to pack. Also because I’m cooler and more international than you.
What can you take away from this blogpost? First off – you aren’t alone, crazy, alone, lame, twenty-something year old, and also, I really really really hate putting my clothes away. So I would probably consider paying someone else to do it and stuff. Not much though… cos I’m like, poor and stuff. But maybe you could do it as an internship? Probs look great on your resume.